蜜糖x洗澡

用蜜糖冲凉
人生会甜吗？

不

头发会凌
乱。

Reasons and Excuses

Having a lot of China competitors is not an excuse to fail Chinese.

Having CCA that ends late is not an excuse to sleep late.

Having committments outside is not a reason to not have enough time to do school related work.

Having noisy birds at home is not a reason to be distracted.

Not having enough time
to read lit texts
to do math practices
to catch up with econs
to scholar for gp
to read gsc articles

is NOT a reason to procrastinate.

There is always time for everything and anything if I make the effort to find them.

Trochotollomonoo

1) Choose choose choose choose
2) Twirl twirl twirl
An increasing sense of tension forms
3) PLUCK

Pleasure.

The odds are out of me. Relief.

Repeat 1,2,3?
No--
Guilty. Beauty.

shortened threads and thinned fabric and bald openings

Bored.
<Repeat 1,2,3>

Reading.
<Repeat 1,2,3>

Stressed.
<Repeat 1,2,3.>

Pleasure.

The odds are out of me. Relief.

Repeat 1,2,3?

i am just tired or am i not

tired vs not feeling well

Weekly mundane hours
Fifth year and still a member
Tired of routine,
Mental ache struck her
so she excused herself.

Weekly mundane hours 
Fifth year and still a member
Ate something bad, felt somewhat sad
Ache stuck her to comtemplate
Whether it is physical.

Lets go on to the sixth.

Thoughts

Be who you see yourself twenty years down the road and not what others see you

We are all in the same game
Just different levels
Dealing with the same hell
Just different devils

The eyes of others our prison;
their thoughts our cages.

Is the one who appears to be calculative really calculative,
or the one who perceive others to be calculative the calculative one?

When a cliffon dough knows that it missed the colouring stage
it should just focus on the baking process

The anchor has sunken into deep sea
Along with the ship

Different people
Similar vibes
Starting all over again from
Day one
Just
Different solutions
Different reactions

Me_diators

Mediators
中间人
Listening to both sides
Calming things down
Yet
What is their true stance?
What if they have a personal side they lean more towards?

Talking to them and making sense of both judgements.
Devising up one answer to satisfy each side
A seemingly neutral stance
A seemingly beneficial stance

What is their true feelings?

Do we know where is the 50 cut.
Do we know of any lingering decimals behind.

"Childish fools"
perhaps.

赏云

赏云

好想
好想登上那一朵云
充满欢乐的未来，无限光彩
三年后我会是那样的!
十年后的我会是那那样的!!
二十年后我会是那那那样的!!!

我却留在了这朵云上
云带我
越飘越远

另一朵云出现了！

好想
好想登上这一朵云
充满新奇的未来，突破超越自己
两年后我可能是那样的！
五年后的我可能是那那样的！！

我仍然继续停留在了这朵云上
无法衡量越云的公式
云带我
越飘越远

我又看到一个云朵！

好想
好想登上那朵云
两年后我会是那样的吗？

云却带我
越飘越远

越飘越远

一年后的我会是怎么样的？

明天的我呢？

谁的战

谁的战

你们先说 
不要自寻烦恼 
不要自挖坟墓

你们也说
要打有保握的战
投资金钱容易得到援助的战

我走向
那容易得到援助的战
却确实发现 

这不是我要的 
战术 
更不是 

我要的战--
投资时间才可能得胜
的战

你们却问我
要不要回去打
我要的战

两个战 
也只能 
选择一战

万种战术
都能葬在
其中一战

却同样  
有机会胜在 
我要的一战

The type of hunger we don't sympathise with

The type of hunger we don't sympathise with

Positioning on the sun comfortably yet you
Often flatter the wind to blow surrounding clouds away.
With desires fixed on the moon though it already orbits around you, you
Embark on another season of Project Hook like you dont ever consider, that the
Rest of the stars should be given a chance to shine once too.

Who is Calculative

So I asked some friends this question:

Is the one who appears to be calculative really calculative,
or the one who perceive others to be calculative the calculative one?

Friend A
:Both?
:Because it also takes one to know one
:But it depends on circumstances

Friend D
:I think both
:Those who appear to be calculative r calculative, cause u think they r like that

:For those who perceive others to be calculative r the one who judge people n underestimate them. So they r calculative

Me: But what about those who mistaken to be calculative but actually is not? Are they still calculative?

:Nope they r not

2nd part time job ft.role model

The 1st was last year for 3 days in school bookshop with 3.5/hour (i didnt know this pay was that low until official job hunt aft olevels)

1st day of work was 8dec, after 2 days of training and i have survived until now! If nth somes up I will be working until 26jan2017 . Given that i only have a psle cert right after olevels, i realised how hard is it without a proper diploma/cert/degree for me to find a decent job during job hunts.

After starting cashiering, I realised that it is really important to do something i love as my future job so working will not just be working and earning money. This also sets me thinking if i should go jc or poly! If poly, i have a education goal and career i want to pursue, but if i go jc, i really dont know where i should go after that.. Actually i just want both alevel cert and diploma haha im so greedy and it will cost a lot. People say that results day is on 11jan and im actually quite nervous but excited at the same time.

Until now, I learnt quite a lot from cashiering. About consumers's(customers') attitude, working style of diff colleagues and superiors, and even about myself. Fajry/ Ah Far is the team leader of retail workers but i respect his leadership skills! We were checking the prices of fruits and ah far went over and talked to us even if we are in he cashiering team.

1. Ah Far asked us to stand in a line and look at the shope from the entrance and asked us, if we are the customers what is the first thing we will look out for when we enter the shop.
Yu ke and alysa said prices of fruits and i said cleanliness which turned out to be what ah far was looking for. I guess it will be how goods are organised and catergorised. For the first time i realised how diff type of apples and oranges are not placed side by side and i think this will decrease confusion among customers if fruits get messed up while choosing. putting different colours side by side seems appealing too.
Here i think Ah Far is trying to tell us that we need to put ourselves in the shoes of other people if we want to help them.

2. After realising yu ke got the resignation form he talked to us, which shocked yu ke because she was sure she took it after ah far walked pass her.
Here Ah Far seems like a great observer.

3. So after yu ke told him she wanted to resign because vv didnt allow her to take 1 week off, Ah Far told us that superiors must be understanding of their team and be attentive to the importance of team work rather than focus on  his or her own interests. so ah far advice yk to go straight to the boss if vv give no chances. I realised that if we were to work in a team, team work is really important and just like how diff departments in a supermarket work tgt--supplied food gets packed-->packed food get shelved--->shelved food get chosen--->chosen food get scanned and packed for check out.

This is certainly not all but i respect ah far as a good role model to look out for.

Also I realised what dropping chem did to me, is it myself or is it really chem but i certainly was considering resigning for the sake of health--lunch and dinner over work, or even a higher pay one (which was my goal of a pt job after olevels, to earn back math tuition fees and save up for the future)
But this stopped after i thought of how i gave up on chem and i dont want to start being a quitter after chemisery!!!

Bugis with Summer :)

So one day me and summer agreed on going a museum tgt and thats how we ended up deciding on Children Little Museum at Bugis :) According to google maps, the museum is opposite a mosque and we tried to locate the Mosque:) On the way, we went into Malay Heritage Centre

Olden day printer

They draw on limestone and put layers of chemical and ink
and press the papers down to print things! :)

I must admit that I am those types who would like to spend more time to read the descriptions in museums and stand up close and stare closely at artifacts or pictures or paintings XD

After that we passed by an affordable cafe and we decided to go in...
It is called Dong Po Colonial Cafe

Counter

They put nostalgic things like old fans comics kerosene lamps
bicycle typewriter here for display 

Theres even board game chess cannon arranged nicely
under the glass panels of tables
old torchlight photographs and cameras too

We chose one with comics and ordered food
Summer Shibuya w vanilla icecream $5.20
Me 2 pastries (Apple&Aloe vera cake and butterfly cake w teh c)

Before we left

Shibuya tasted really good! Aloe vera cake also very chilling only that the taste was dominated by apple. Butterfly cake very dry and rough though, so a bit regret. But you never know until you try things! ;)







FINALLY...

Us with the robot outside the Children Museum

 The Museum owner was quite pissed when we tried to touch his things at the start after we pay the $2 admission fee to go upstairs his attitude 180'' flipped over

I don't know what this is called

Although I dont support smoking

Bruce Lee

Cool old standing fan

These above are just some things on Level 1... :))

papa say this look familiar

papa say these were what he played
in the past too (I guess he only can remember the childhood games)

Remembering chem (RIP)

So Chem is a compulsory subject in our school that everyone of us should take for o levels. and thats how i had chem in sec 3. Throughout my upper sec life of studying chem, i always failed chem. it started with 47 then 44 then 38 in mye in sec 4. 38 is the worst mark in a official school examination like mye/eoy i ever get in the whole of my entire sec school life and i guess it was the 3 in the front that made me lose hope for it. Maybe i lacked the experience of doing exceptionally badly in subjects and it sort of demotivated me. i rmbed me laughing at my grade again, as i failed it, and got a worse mark. i rmbed that i could not focus during the mass checking session because i do not understand the mistakes i made. however, i too remembered, during the mastery test at the start of the year, i did exceptionally well for chem. it was a 66 , and i was shocked by it. it was one of the factor that caused my hesistation in dropping the subject. yet, i still dropped it. i remembered me collecting all my hopes and confidence after 38 and decided to be consistent in chem consul in the future. well, i failed myself. i dropped it mainly because of the fear of the grade ruining my olvl cert. ^(i realised that having an absent there would never be much better though) i dropped it also because of the fear of the mysterious bell curve. since i was really behind in my cohort, i thought that it will be the same in that bell curve. i dropped it because i decided that i still have other subjects like chum at the edge of the cliff and maths that can be mysteriously unstable at times and bio that is always average and not improving. I also dropped it after reading over and over a Chinese text of knowing the time to 舍弃 is impt.  i also dropped it because i thought that 83+ days to the first olvl paper will be arriving very fast.

in the end, i spent 2months mourning for chem and yah. i could have spent the 2 months studying for it. things are really bad and i broke down terribly in front of deepasre ^so glad she was there and we sat at the 5th floor stairwell and I just could not stop my mucus and tears and regretness

I am typing this on the bus after a math olvl 1november when the others are frantically preparing for their Chem paper 2 afterwards. sometimes I asks myself, will I do better emotionally and academically if I don't drop?  motivational quotes coming in my way become an eyesore after dropping and sarcasm was all I felt in them. 'do not underestimate luck' will be one simple one for me to link it with my luck for mcq Chem  paper 1 when I only get 12/40 without guessing any answers without thinking. what if I get 22/40 ? I would be near to a pass!  or "sec 4s, this is the final lap, do your best" and others

yes, I felt horrigible dropping Chem as I realised I hypnotize myself into liking the subject somehow. and I still feel terrible for that.

my excuses to my friends when they asked me if I wanted to drop were linked to my guilt to the teacher (which is actually not, I realised. it is a guilt to myself.) I actually really hate to give up, ESP for sth that I had the responsibility for it at the start. I come to realise that a lot right after dropping. I vow not to do that again :(

right not I'm sitting at the bus stop of my stop and I will continue to vent after olvls at 18nov. I hope I will do chem proud by showing it that I can do better after dropping it.

2 Nov.  well,  guess what , they said chem was really easy yesterday.

5 Nov.  sometimes I wonder, I might be able to manage chem well with other subjects, or even better.

sometimes I also wonder, if I did ask her if she has faith in me, and if her reply was yes, I would definitely press on
but I didn't
so she didnt
so I didnt.

if I become like her one day, I must not wait for them to ask me but tell them before they even thought of asking me .

I shall work harder for my remaining papers. lit, Chinese, lit, bio.

20.11.16

Olvls ended on 18nov with bio mcq . theres a column on the otas sheet for examiner to indicate if the student withdrawn or absent. I wonder if they will write withdrawn or absent on my results slip. oh well, they are both equally ugly on it.

A trip to the Down Syndrome Association

The trip to the Down Syndrome Association today was a very enriching one for me. I gained a lot knowledge regarding Down syndrome from the people in charge and of couse, with short interactions with persons with Down syndrome. At the first moment when we stepped into the Association,  we were greeted by a few people with Down syndrome warmly, and a lady named Min Fei introduced herself to me with a handshake. I was shocked    
by her friendliness but told her my name in return.  Min Fei went on by telling me that she lost her pink wallet that her mother gave her. She went on telling me that her wallet contained $5 and she is looking for it. This small interaction with Min Fei made me felt that she really trust me a lot as she was really detailed with her description to a mere stranger like me.
We did not have the time to interview  the persons of Down syndrome, as throughout the visit, we only toured the place. However, when the person in charge was bringing us to various rooms of different uses like the living room and the art room, we were further welcomed by more of them, as they came over to us for handshakes and high-fives, smiling warmly at us. I noticed that most of them walk while sloughing and dragging their feet, which is one of the symptoms caused by their syndrome--Low muscle tone. This reminded me of how most of us usually drag ourselves to school on an early Monday morning, having the reluctance of going to school. They cannot control the way they walk, but we do. Yet we choose to present ourself in this type of posture.
The persons with Down syndrome also had craft-making in their curriculum, where they expresse themselves through art pieces they create, often with a different perspective of how people should interpret and view the world. The crafts they made will sold to people during charity fare, encouraging them to be self-reliant and at the same time contribute to the society.
What amazes me was that the rooms are always filled with laughters and chatterings. They maintain a positive attitude, not feeling demoralized with their conditions.
Before we leave the association, we waved goodbye to the friends from afar. What touched me is what they did next, running from their places towards us eagerly despite having difficulty walking, just to high-five us goodbye.

On the whole, I learnt that persons of Down syndrome are not disabled, just differently abled. 

THANK YOU 大家！！

So today's 14august and it was really📌📎
So during recess serene made me go toilet with her so i kept my half eaten pear and took my chinese tb to the toilet. On the way, she was like 憋笑-ing then i suddenly rmb yesterday:
Setting: outside indian dance room after end of literature class
I was wearing my shoes to prepare to go back class
"So each of us pay $4 ah "

Then after that serene asked me
"Did you hear that?"
I asked
"hear what?"
S:"you really didnt hear?"
M:"what thing?"
S"we planning a birthday surprise for you"

---SILENCE---
^awkwardX

Ok.
Ok.
Ok.
Ok.
Ok.

Ok back today:
so i thought of yesterday cuz before entering the toilet i saw zhuo heng with a squarish plastic bag

Ok so i completely clear of everything already but it was like omg omg omg

So i asked serene in the toilet what taking her so long ^as if i dont know
"我大便"
So i leaned against the toilet wall and continued preparing for chinese test the next period

...

So serene came out and we met deepasre she returned me my mechanical pencil then serene picked up her speed and ran back to class.

So the moment i reach the corridor everyone was like singing birthday song
Awkward+paise+omg+awkward XXX
It was really nice of them :")
Serene summer joey alice yukilim stephanie zhuo heng yukigoay casandra min yee clara in the class i think

So after the song they were like blow the candle! Then i blew them. It was a tom and jerry cake it was so heartwarming
🐱🐭
Then they were like shit forget to make a wish! Then they tried to relight the candle but wind too strong
They made me cut the cake then my hands were like tremble tremble tremble

I cut the square tom and jerry cake in to 14pieces and gave to everyone in the class good that it is recess so most of them in the canteen

I ate the cake although very sweet^chocolatecake but it's the sincerity that matters :'))

then after that left 2 pieces, casandra had a secind serving, then last one.
Zh: yong ping you choose don or gavin and give the cake to him
m: nevermind lah

It was quite pressurizing because i really dont talk to the guys in my class except zh because it was him who talked to me first
M: just help me give to anyone lah
zh: no you go there and give either one of them. Don! You want eat cake or not?

He must have replied no so zh asked me to give the last cake to gavin.
awkward level^^^

So after i packed the candles and wiped the table, under their^peer pressure i just walked to gavin and gave it to him
It was damn awkward omg then after i turned back zh was coming up with ship names and i was like wth and went back to my seat and continue to eat my pear

"Thank you ah" was the phrase that i repeated for XXX mixture of omg and awkward and thank you

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

so after i went back to my seat and continued reading chinese christy came over and wanted to shake my hands i told her my hands got pear juice so i dont want^actually i dont like shaking ppl's hands XXX
It was quite mean for doing that and i felt Christy's "you dont accept my wishes" feelings
Sorry christy sorry sorry sorry

So chinese test was oh my god brain block 6++marks gone haiz

But i was really filled with 感动の心情好不好！

谢谢大家 you all made my day
Thank you serene for the idea although surprise failed

W h y

猫は大好きですが。

Second week of june day 2

So here i am on the mrt heading to tuition. I shouldnt have said that im free today, no wait i said im not. But they are, so we went stephanie's hoise for bio pw,  to film a talk show ^bio pw about a random guy who had four heart defects .
Had 6nuggets from kfc for lunch, cuz they suddenly remembered that i haven had my lunch so we quitted the queue for llao llao.  Actually i also 不忍心eat llao llao cuz the s dont know what cost $5.90 and how many meals can i buy with that and some yesterday's lit project with alice and yuki i ate a cup of ice cream from japanese street alr. Afterwards we went to some photo taking booth in the arcard. Honestly speaking i had 预感that i might be late for tuition if i leave at 2.30on the spot but stephanie say will reach tuition in 30mins but now is 3.02and im still on the bus..... :( so at kfc no. Throughout the project work, i was feeling damn awkward with them, especially when we are walking in the mall me and joey were walking behind Stephanie and serene and they had so much kpop to talk about while i have none. That just too bad. Then in kfc joey and Stephanie were like so many things to talk about but me and serene had none. Idk i really dont know what pulled us so close together when we dont even have any 话题 to talk about..... haiz. So the arcade experience was terrible cuz it was so loud and it was the first time in my life going in. Then i didnt even know how a photo booth work-- you have to go over the other side of the booth and use a special pen to decorate photos, 3 on each side, and theres a time limit. Idek how to play with that in the first place so mine was like i do the first one halfway then i let them do it. Dont know is it member or not, Stephanie had this member card then all of us had to pay her $3each.

so im waiting for 30now, and i missed two of them at one go. Learnt bionomial theorem it was such a crazy factorization shit.

Then let me attach the cup of ice cream i had yesterday here too, kiwi sauce w marshmallows and stars sprinkles. The sprinkles tasted awful i swear cuz it was very 硬

Art with shadows

:) the kettle's shadow

Cuz it's the last this year

I am really glad to be able to take part in this year's count me in.Through these weekly Saturday sessions, I really learnt a lot, for example like how to interact better with the children and change my teaching style to suit different children in maximising their learning through more  interesting activities. The children really taught me a lot of things and made my Saturday mornings brighter and more meaningful, instead of doing nothing at home. I definitely gained a lot of experience in these years of Count Me In, and 2015's would not be my last. I would certainly wish to join cmi again the next 'season' if i am able to make it!

LIT lesson today

So we are supposed to have literature debate every friday in the dance room and today's lesson was "Caesar and Calphurnia and Brutus and Portia have the same relationship with each other. Do you agree?" My mind was completely blank this morning and still didnt wake up after i got chosen to represent my group for that debate through open numbers with Oli Winter.  I guess it was really quite awkward for me anf him to work tgt + i cannot really understand his essence ^sorry +i need subtitles..

Haiz so he did most of the talking the whole debate while my mind was still gonggong one

Ok to conclude, i think i flunked it, doubt anyone would want to group with me for eng group work anymore HAHAHAHAIZ

I AM SO 抱歉！

So summer and zhuo heng got the bubbles i helped them buy and they started blowing during lessons while waiting for pe played during recess and stuff 😂 had to help zhuo heng summer christy yi yang buy more bubbles this weekend 😂😂